


Wake Not A Sleeping Wolf

by micehell



Category: Wolf's Rain
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance, goes AU at ep 5, mild OOC in places (though considering I'm pairing two alpha wolves it's not horribly off ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-01
Updated: 2003-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-12 03:59:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/486450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/micehell/pseuds/micehell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After he is attacked, Kiba has to come to terms with what happened.  Tsume lends a hand, among other things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wake Not A Sleeping Wolf

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from Shakespeare's Henry IV.

_One strong wolf cannot defeat a pack of dogs; one strong arm cannot defeat many fists._ Chinese proverb.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He felt the nightmare begin, knowing it was a dream and yet unable to alter or stop it.

_He'd come upon them, pathetic dogs in wolves' skins, and their taunting had started. Unable by nature to let it slide, he'd responded in kind, putting as much scorn as he could in his voice. He'd been too effective at that, hardly the first time, yet never before with the same consequences. He saw the hostility in their eyes increase, but was unconcerned, driven on by his own anger and an inborn confidence in his ability to look out for himself._

_They'd attacked individually at first. After he'd easily repelled these attacks, they had backed off, rethinking their strategy. Then the real battle had begun. They'd come at him in groups, flanking him, one group pulling his attention with a feint while another group drove in to do as much damage as they could before drawing back and letting another group attack. It was an accumulation of small wounds rather than any major ones that eventually wore him down. The more he tired, the more small wounds there were. After a while, his own attacks had ceased and he was barely keeping them at bay. That's when they'd crowded in and he'd been restrained through lack of space, strong jaws and his own pain._

His sleeping body started to move more as his dream body moved less, a futile attempt to escape the fate that had already occurred. Relentless as always, the dream continued.

_He'd not understood at first when he felt the weight on his back, never having even considered this possibility. But that naiveté had been stripped from him as he'd felt first a pressure, then a pain so bright it had driven thought out before it. The pain had become an amorphous cloud that enveloped him, letting nothing through but the sounds of his rapists' heavy breathing, the jeers and cheers of those holding him up and the moans and whimpers he'd been ashamed to know were his. He had no idea how long it lasted (forever) or how many of them actually raped him (legion), but eventually, like all nightmares, it ended._

Coming awake, dying moans still coming from his throat, he tried to remember what it had felt like to be so confident in himself; what it had felt like to not be afraid of strangers, or even friends; what it had felt like when he had been sure that he would find Paradise. What it had felt like when he'd wanted to live.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Everything blurs into everything else. Is it yesterday or tomorrow? Does it even matter? One foot in front of the other, ad nauseum. Though if he only had to go until he became nauseated, he could have stopped long ago. One more step, then another. One more step… and then the ground drops out.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

As Kiba faltered at the edge of the nearly hidden wallow, Tsume rushed forward to keep him from falling, reaching the edge just one second later than it had taken Kiba to go over. Tsume didn't even wait to see if Kiba would regain his balance before he followed him over the edge.

When Tsume reached him, Kiba was already standing again after his rather rapid descent. "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"I fell. It was an accident. What's it to you, anyway?"

"You're the one leading us to Paradise. I didn't come all this way just so you can kill yourself before we get there. Afterwards, yes, but not before."

"It was an accident!"

"It was carelessness. Focus on us, not on them."

Understanding who 'them' meant and wishing he didn't, Kiba glared at Tsume, a growl low in his throat. "You don't understand."

"I do understand. They took part of you away. You need to take it back."

Another low growl. "I don't want to talk about this."

"We've tried that already. Talk to me or continue this way, until there's nothing left. Or until you're dead."

"Maybe that would be better."

"If you were the type to lay down and die, we would never have met."

A vision of snow whited out Kiba's thoughts for a while. Then a resigned shrug. "What you said...."

"They took something away from you. Take it back."

"What if I can't recognize it anymore." Almost a whisper.

"I remember. Far too well."

A snort. "You're no prize."

"No. I'm not."

"Tell me then."

"You're reckless."

Another snort.

"You're determined."

A small nod.

"You're stubborn."

"That's the same thing as determined."

"You're loyal."

A smile, quickly gone.

"You're arrogant."

A glare that didn't quite cover up a touch of hurt.

"You're brave."

A hitch of breath.

"You're beautiful."

Two looks of stunned amazement.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Kiba started to pull away, but Tsume pulled him back. "No more running. I... I didn't mean...."

"You didn't mean that?"

"I... didn't mean to say that."

"But you like me?"

"I didn't say that. I said I think you're beautiful."

For some reason, that admission both relieved and disappointed Kiba. "None of this matters, anyway. Those are things I might have once been, but they're not what I am now."

"In part, maybe. But you can be all of that again. You were alone in that fight. You don't have to be alone in this one."

Tsume waited several minutes for Kiba to reply. "Come on, then, we need to get back to the others."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

He felt the nightmare begin. The dream ran as it always did, building to the fate he hadn't escaped, as unchangeable as the past.

_That's when they'd crowded in and he'd been restrained through lack of space, strong jaws and his own pain. He'd not understood at first when he felt the weight on his back, never having even considered the possibility. But...._

But it did change.

_A loud snarl sounded. The wolves holding him turned to face this new threat, but it did them no good. One by one they were pulled away until they faded into mist. Soon all the other wolves were gone, but one. Tsume._

Tsume reached out his hand and said, "Kiba, wake up."

Kiba didn't want to think about why he obeyed the dream Tsume so readily. But the real Tsume gave him a reason to forget all about it. He was holding Kiba in his arms.

Pushing the very solidly real Tsume away, Kiba was holding tightly to his anger, making sure his mind didn't wander into thoughts about how good Tsume had felt. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Tsume looked at him calmly, not the least put out by Kiba's display of anger. "Helping you."

"I don't need your help."

"Liar."

That stopped Kiba cold. It was a lie. Kiba had never been able to turn the nightmare, but somehow Tsume had. The part of Kiba that wasn't irritated by this was happily thinking about what he'd decided not to think about.

Then a thought occurred to Kiba. A very bad thought. And though he reminded himself that Tsume had some honor, that he wasn't like those others, still the thought wouldn't go away. "Why are you helping me? What do you get out of it?"

"I like you."

"You said you didn't."

"No, I said that I hadn't said that. I never said it wasn't true."

The part of Kiba that continued to think about what he had decided not to think about, cringed at Kiba's reply. "I don't like you. If you're looking to fuck me, you'd better have friends to back you up, 'cause that's the only way you'll do it."

Kiba tried very hard not to think about Hige and Toboe doing just that. He knew he wasn't being reasonable. With a strong effort, he managed to kill at least one unwanted train of thought.

Tsume looked angry for a minute, but then he relaxed with a sigh. "I think you do like me. But sex doesn't need to happen for me to help you. It doesn't ever need to happen unless you want it to."

Lying back down, Tsume patted the ground beside him. "Go back to sleep."

Willfully ignoring the part of him that was very happy with this outcome, a confused Kiba obeyed.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Days passed, weeks passed, some days dark, but others not. The nightmares went from being every night, to most nights, to some nights, to rare nights. And yet Kiba continued to sleep by Tsume. He told himself that he was just keeping warm.

The part of his brain that continued to ignore him, laughed with glee when he had a wet dream that could, possibly, have involved him and Tsume. Most of Kiba fervently hoped that Tsume had thought the moans were caused by a nightmare.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Kiba woke with his heart pounding in fear, a cry dying on his lips. He felt Tsume's arms holding him tight.

"You haven't had a nightmare in a while."

"It wasn't the same one."

"What was this one, then."

"I was alone again. You all went away."

"You aren't alone, Kiba." Then Tsume pulled Kiba around to face him. Slowly, giving him plenty of time to draw back, Tsume closed in and kissed him.

Kiba gave into the wayward part of his brain without a fight and returned the kiss.

A quick move to make sure they were out of sight of the others, and the kissing was soon joined by touching. Touching led to another kind of joining, which then led to an exhausted, sated slumber.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Tsume kissed him again when they woke, but Kiba didn't return this kiss. He barely looked at Tsume as the four wolves started on the day's journey.

Hours later, just as Kiba was about ready to scream at the warring factions of his brain, Tsume dropped back to walk beside him, leaving Hige and Toboe far ahead.

Going on the attack, Kiba said, "This doesn't change anything."

Tsume flashed him a brief smile, one of the first Kiba had seen. Kiba told the part of his brain that noted that Tsume looked beautiful when he smiled to shut up.

Tsume said, "No. It doesn't. We were already mates."

Squashing any wayward thoughts, Kiba growled, "It was just sex." Damn good sex, he silently admitted. The wayward thoughts were going strong. "A momentary aberration."

"If you consider a lifetime momentary. Wolves mate for life. We've mated. End of story."

"If that were true, I should be back with the first one of them that fucked me." Kiba couldn't help the shudder that passed through him at that.

Tsume stopped, pulling Kiba to him. Stroking hair that ruffled with tension, Tsume kissed him. "No, you should be with the one that first loved you. And you are."

After another kiss, Tsume let Kiba go and said, "Come on, the others are getting too far ahead. Let's go find Paradise."

When the wayward part of his brain said that he already had, Kiba didn't even have the strength to care. Following his mate, thinking that he'd have to show Tsume just who was the alpha in their relationship, it occurred to Kiba that sometimes nightmares became dreams when the fear faded away.

He felt the dream begin.

 

Fin.


End file.
